Last night my dad called 911 because my aunt called my dad and said that her sister's eyes where rolling back in her head. That's what happened to my grandma right before she died. So my dad just called 911 not knowing what else to do.
When the paramedics came they checked my aunt out and said that she was alright. My dad says that she is having a hard time walking and she doesn't talk any longer. She might shake her head and thats it. She is fading fast and I doubt that she has a month. However, I can be wrong and it's out of our hands. It is up to her and God as to when the final moments take place. I know that this is a morbid posting and I really don't expect comments, but if you have suggestions on how to deal with grief they will be appreciated.
6 comments:
If it helps at all - you are not alone. It certainly can feel that way when it is this intense. It is sad and cruel and life unfortunately is gonna throw us these passes. I wish it could all be good, but in the end it will always be the same. And truly, it is out of your hands. I hope her passing is without pain and wish her well in the great beyond. Remember her. Be with your family. And talk to people are the only suggestions I have in dealing with this kind of situation. You may also want to seek out somebody who has experienced a family member who has had a terminal illness.
I thought I'd share the following as I have experienced "eyes rolling back" and can relate, to some extent to your situation. My uncle who is recovering from his addiction to prescription drugs was actually dead for a few moments last year. He is doing better, but considering what he has been through we always have this thought that he may die at any second. Before his lowest point there were several instances of my dad and I finding him unconscious in his condo and having to call 911. Listening to him in a stupor or having to catch him as he passes out - always a challenge - not really catching him so much as easing his fall onto the ground. It is difficult because it is so tragic for him to have had to lead this kind of life AND because it causes my Dad a great deal of stress AND I cannot believe my Grandpa was providing the kind of care that he was before my dad arrived.
I do not know if this helps, but I'll be thinking of you.
Thanks Gibbs. I didn't know about your uncle. Thanks for sharing that information.
Death is a part of life, as much of cliche as that seems', and understanding that in my mind is critical to getting through these moments.
What we all hope for is that we live fully up to the last moment of our life and then die peacefully in our sleep, or perhaps are killed instantly in some other fashion. But that's not always the reality. Many people suffer terribly, but we as a society have developed means for dealing with that, hospices and other forms of palliative care, designed to ease the passing for both our loved ones and for us.
If your aunt is not suffering that is an enormous blessing. The burden that you and your family endure helping her to the end will be quickly eclipsed by the memories you have of her from better times. That comes from experience. You'll remember the tough moments at the end, but they will pale in comparison to the good memories.
Best wishes.
Wonderful insight Pat. Thank you!
I don't think I can add much that these two other Masters of Solace already have not; but to echo both their sentiments: this (dealing with the death of a loved one) is a life experience from which almost none of us escape. Certainly none of us that live a few decades on this earth and are not utterly estranged from those who are close to us.
It is in the most tragic and brutal of life's moments when I am reminded of one of the greatest qualities of the human condition: we carry on. With all the suffering, grief, and gloom in the world; where would we be without that quality? There would be no humour, no music, no esctacy (meaning the emotion, not the drug). Without our uncanny ability to grieve deeply and necessarily, and then to pick ourselves up and move on, we would be nowhere.
You speak resounding truth my friend. Thanks for those words.
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