This has nothing to do with Mighty Tom other than the fact that I was talking to him on the phone as this nastiness went down. I was driving home yesterday afternoon and decided to head over to the UNI book and supply to pick up some premade bulletin board letters. As I drove, I felt the urge to call Mt at home. It has been several days since I conversed with the genuis from Indiana. We were shooting the breeze for about five minutes when I arrived at the UNI bookstore. I stayed on the line talking away instead of hanging up.
I thought that hanging up would be the proper thing to do when going into a store, but manners eluded me and I kept on talking. Another reason to keep talking is to keep the store help from asking you five times if there is anything that they can show you. My logic was weak at best and I was borderline rude to be talking on a cell phone in the store. I do want to add that I was not loud while in the store. It was a very respectful voice. However, the most respectful thing to do would be to hang up.
Anyway, there is something about talking to MT. Whenever I do, I get these huge urges to use the restroom. Is there something about his voice? So I am looking for these letters and talking to MT when these gas pains start to make me dance around. I look around to see if anyone is nearby because I am not going to go to the restroom. I am talking to MT and I don't want to hang up to use the stupid restroom. The coast was clear and so I released the pressure.
Man did that feel great. MT had no idea what was going on so there is no disgrace on him. It was all me and my unwillingness to hang up the phone. We just talked and talked. The most awkward aspect to the experience was as soon as I released the pressure five college girls came out of the woodwork. Where in the hell were they before I released the pressure. I am sure they had to smell the foul air that clouded my being and all of the area of the letters. They left the area very quickly and I say them talking at a distance and looking back at me. I guess I deserve whatever they were saying.
I just wanted to share a funny and goofey thing that happened. It is disqusting and crude, but I hope that it at least made you smile for a second or two. How is it that talking to friends bring out the worst in a person? In this case bad cell phone manners and stinky air.
5 comments:
Linking together your various perversion involving Mighty Tom and biological functions would have driven Freud completely mad.
Libraries and bookstores inspire a desire to crap in me. Talking to MT does not.
The smell of books seems to trigger a biological need, possibly related to years spent reading while crapping.
I almost split a gut laughing at your comments. Brilliant!
What can I say...
T-clog, do you get the urge when you read my written word?
No, I do not. It is all in the sound of your voice. Bizzare.
Remember, of course, my "Shitting in the Stacks" essage of '03.
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